I’ve been struggling lately on finding balance. Not only for myself but balance for my everyday. Between wanting to write here, taking care of Isabella, being patient with accepting our new home, being a wife, I find it impossible to find balance in the day. I have a hundred and one ideas surrounding me everyday, things I want to do creatively, for me, for Isabella, a mountain of cleaning and organizing to do but I feel like I have no time to do it all. And in a way its true and not true. Time is my enemy mostly because I don’t always make the best of the time I have.
Isabella is my enemy, but in a way I choose. I chose to be home with her everyday, to interact with her, to play, to rock, to take care of her over doing anything else. Distraction is my enemy as I easily let myself get distracted by facebook, other blogs or other projects I am/should be working on.
I am also my greatest enemy. I need to find balance. To make a conscious effort to get done what I want. I need to be a better planner, organizer, wife and mother. I think I do well, but I know I could do better. I also need to a better me, to have the grace to accept what I cant change. To have the patience to allow for the things I want to be changed to be changed (including the changes I want for myself).
There is so many things I still want to accomplish. I changed paths to make this happen. But I did not change my mindsets. I still have my old habits, And even though I don’t believe in going to extremes, change even slowly, must take place. To start I thought about the things that I most want to get done (in no particular order).
1. Study Italian. I live here now, I must learn the language. This doesn’t have to be using a workbook, or Rosetta everyday as I am surrounded by people speaking it all the time. But I need to make an effort to do consciously do something.
2. Work on the nonprofit. I committed to being a member and I need to ensure part of my day gets dedicated to doing the work that needs to be done.
3. Move my body. Take a walk, exercise, stretch, yoga, pilates. I need to take better care of myself. One of my biggest fears in life now is to not be there for Isabella. Only I can make sure that I am doing what I can to be with her and Nico for as long as I can be.
4. Maintaining our home. Cleaning, sweeping, mopping, laundry – these things take a lot more time if I let them pile up. But if I maintain them daily it wont be so bad. I don’t need to mop everyday or even sweep everyday (we have tile floors in all of the house, with a crawling baby who eats everything). If I put things away as I get them or sweep when I can, or even ask Nico to do it while I watch Isabella, housework wont seem so overwhelming.
5. Most importantly enjoy life. I don’t know what this life has in store for me past right now. Sure I can plan the next five minutes but that doesn’t mean that it is what I will do. I made choices so that I can have the life I wanted so why no relish in every moment. Even when there is no water in the kitchen, the house fills with gas cause of a shoddy gas plug and the power keeps cutting out cause the stove is an energy vampire for the little power regulator we have. None of that matters. I have a husband who loves me unconditionally, a beautiful girl whose smile can light the world and I live in the place I’ve always wanted to live. I have a lot to be thankful for. Life definitely has its ups and down but everyone of those downs bring a new challenge and a new discovery of what I am capable of becoming.
What do you do to balance your lives? Do you set goals, keep picture reminders of whats important? Share your thoughts in the comments below.