super...cute...pink...happy...fun...time...

Changes

mood: trying to be ... focused
Changes are coming. So much has happened since that last post in May... that was over a year ago. 2008 lol. Its 2009 and Ive changed schools, gone to another country, gotten married and I'm about to have a baby. What a difference time makes. No longer at ODU, transferred to a online program so that I could go to Italy. I met Nico a couple months after that post so yes it does work, if you let yourself be open to it.

I'm moving this blog to its own domain, more appropriately named The Wandering Heart. Its not up yet, still in the preliminary design stages, mostly cause I want more than just ramblings so I have some grand plans for it. If I can get myself focused.

I touched base with an old friend today also, hoping to get involved in an exciting project that she is working on.

This will be the last post here, but the site will remain for integrity. So much I want to say and do over at TWH, so I want that to be my main focus. So I say goodbye mld/blog and hello to the start of something new and thewanderingheart.com smile

Adrianne on 10.14.09 @ 04:20 PM EST [link] [No Comments]

Sunday, May 18th

does it work

mood: meh
a friend of mine was supposed to get married next week. and now shes not. he canceled or something happened i dont know any details. My best friend got pregnant by someone she considered her best friend and while her son is beautiful instead of him being there for her, she gets baby mama drama and loses a friend. my other best friend ... thats a fractured friendship right there, dont even know where to begin with that one. and there others, other examples of just relationships falling apart. even if they arent falling apart theres so much arguing or I dont know maybe its the rain. im sure its really a thousand things. the stressors ive been dealing with lately are wearing me out. eh its like they say ... this too shall pass ~_~'

Adrianne on 05.18.08 @ 02:46 AM EST [link] [No Comments]

remember when

mood: nostalgic
Remember when ....

you used to play in the sandbox with the dinosaurs
the excitement of the icecream mans bell was the highlight of your day?
you wanted to be a fireman, an astronaut AND a superhero
Saturday morning cartoons were worth getting up for
staying up late meant trying to stay up til midnight ... without getting caught
all your friends were best friends forever and you were all gonna live in the BIG house in the woods, or on the beach.... didnt matter so long as you were together forever
trading messages meant passing notes in classs
faling in love was as easy as "do you like me? check []yes or []no
your first kiss was sloppy, a little drooly and perfect
you couldnt wait til you turned 18? 21? 25?
you thought that grownups got to have all the fun!
you knew that life would get easier as you get older

LOL had a lot of remember when moments the past couple of days .... found an OLD pic of me and my sisters from highschool that kinda prompted this smile

Adrianne on 05.18.08 @ 02:09 AM EST [link] [No Comments]

Friday, May 2nd

fake it

mood: sleepy
So I finished this semester ... hopefully successfully, i am still waiting for grades but so far looks like maybe and A and a B, maybe two B's which would be fine also. My last class was this week and we watched the crazy movie called Paris is Burning. It was about the gay/trans scene in New York and the "balls" they have. These balls are essentially just a way for them all to get together and compete and what not but what the movie was about isnt really important. One of the classes I was taking is one of the core class for the humanities program I am in. Its called Humanities on Trial: Thoughts on post modernism. I'm still not sure what the point of the class was. We read people like freud and nietzsche, discussed issues like how reproducibility is destroying the arts or something like that. Well the teacher ended the class with this discussion. In the movie one of the central themes was identity. At these balls, the people would get together and perform like best straight looking man, or most real looking woman. Obviously gay men and women and especially transgender deal with issues of identity, but my teacher went on to suggest that all life is nothing but performing. That none of us are who we really are ever to anyone. She says:

"We are as we act....but are performances unfold only and always in relation to others, and in shifting contexts that may alter their meanings."

and

"The meaning of our lives has ultimately, has little to do with any inner core or essence but with a kind of social script, a manner of acting. "

I dont know but this bothers me a little. It suggests that life is fake. That how I act and react to one person is all based on lies and assumptions. And yes, I'm sure people assume things all the times and base opinions on what they think is going on rather that what may actually be going on. But then thats human nature. We always want to guess and try to figure out what people are thinking - sometimes for the worse. And sure this may affect how we act around certain people. But to say that the meaning of life has little to do with who we are and more to do with so script we have devised - it just seems fake.

So I dont know. I would like to think that I try to be myself as genuinely as possible. Maybe thats good, maybe its not. I would hope that it is enough. Sure I think we act differently around different people but i think contextually that also refers to how well you know someone. You may not be entirely yourself as you are getting to know someone, but thats the process of getting to know someone ... I dont know. This is already too long and rambly and my brain is still dead.

but comments, thoughts if you want

Adrianne on 05.02.08 @ 12:02 AM EST [link] [No Comments]

Wednesday, April 30th

the bane of my exsistence - rice

mood: amused
I love to cook. When I was an undergrad making dinner and margarits and pretending to study was the highlight of my day. I even briefly considered chucking my diploma and going to culinary school. I come up with recipes all the time, I make the best chocolate chip cookies in the world and there has never been a recipe I could not figure out and put my own personal spin on.

Except for rice

When I cook rice 1 of 3 things will happen

1. the rice is burnt
2. the rice is undercooked
3. the rice is burnt AND undercooked (how this happens I will never know)

Really, rice is supposed to be one of those staples that is easy to throw together and have with whatever. AND I CANT COOK IT. I dont get it. Brandy says just get a rice cooker but that is beside the point! it has like 3 steps to making it - boil water add rice wait 10 minutes voila ...for me this is always chaos and its so frustrating! angry, grr

Adrianne on 04.30.08 @ 03:30 PM EST [link] [No Comments]

Tuesday, April 29th

distractions - a song

music: whatever itunes is playing
mood: silly
sung to the tune of the 12 days of christmas

on the day before my paper was due i distracted myself with these
I sat down and wrote this silly song

on the day before my paper was due I distracted myself with these
6 glasses of green and white tea
and writing this silly song

On the day before my paper was due i distracted myself with these
reading random email
6 glasses of green and white tea
and writing this silly song

on the day before my paper was due I distracted myself with these
checking on my chocobo
reading random email
6 glasses of green and white tea
and writing this silly song

on the day before my paper was due I distracted myself with these
sending random email
checking on my chocobo
reading random email
6 glasses of green and white tea
and writing this silly song

on the day before my paper was due i distracted myself with these
occasionally watching tv
sending random email
checking on my chocobo
reading random email
6 glasses of green and white tea
and writing this silly song

on the day before my paper was due i distracted myself with these
taking 4 goody's powder
occasionally watching tv
sending random email
checking on my chocobo
reading random email
6 glasses of green and white tea
and writing this silly song

on the day before my paper was due I distracted myself with these
making 2 new playlists
taking 4 goody's powder
occasionally watching tv
sending random email
checking on my chocobo
reading random email
6 glasses of green and white tea (man I've got to pee!)
and I sat down and wrote this silly song!!!!!!

Adrianne on 04.29.08 @ 02:13 AM EST [link] [No Comments]

Tuesday, April 22nd

oh boy... just a couple more weeks and 20 pages (and 2 possible exams) stand between me and the end of my first semester.. so far have an A in one class and NO CLUE in the other. been feeling less like writing and more artistic lately probably cause of the almost impossible to complete 15 page paper i turned in ... a week ago, the days seem to blend - work, school, papers, sleep .... sleepy

Oh and the title is for HOLLY cause shes gonna be on Ace of Cakes cause she awesome like that...really she is. Its got nothing to do with those other chicks on skates that she likes to hang out with....nope. She just awesome big grin

Check out Ace of Cakes THIS thursday and see my awesome friend (and I guess some awesome skate chicks wink

still working on a fix ... well kinda gotta work on the paper too hehe

Adrianne on 04.22.08 @ 02:03 PM EST [link] [No Comments]

Saturday, April 19th

bleh

mood: D;
So the new layout is up.. but there is still kinks. Like the text going to far. But i will have to mess with it later cause I think that would involve some recoding of stuff. hobbies are such a pain sad

Adrianne on 04.19.08 @ 07:08 PM EST [link] [No Comments]






	Name: Adrianne birthday: June 13 aimUsakoSerenity email:a@mld.com Archives Nishi Moonlight Destiny Pretty-Soldier Sparkling Goddess(Kelly) BambooandBarbedwire (coming soon) Site would have never come together without inspiration DayDreamGraphics Aethereality.net Apothesis.net Well honestly I dont remember where I got these images from. Flowers, I think are from a google image search and I am trying to place the Usa's pic ~_~; I',m pretty sure its from SailorMoon Channel Add Entry		Wednesday, October 14th Changes mood: trying to be ... focused Changes are coming. So much has happened since that last post in May... that was over a year ago. 2008 lol. Its 2009 and Ive changed schools, gone to another country, gotten married and I'm about to have a baby. What a difference time makes. No longer at ODU, transferred to a online program so that I could go to Italy. I met Nico a couple months after that post so yes it does work, if you let yourself be open to it. I'm moving this blog to its own domain, more appropriately named The Wandering Heart. Its not up yet, still in the preliminary design stages, mostly cause I want more than just ramblings so I have some grand plans for it. If I can get myself focused. I touched base with an old friend today also, hoping to get involved in an exciting project that she is working on. This will be the last post here, but the site will remain for integrity. So much I want to say and do over at TWH, so I want that to be my main focus. So I say goodbye mld/blog and hello to the start of something new and thewanderingheart.com Adrianne on 10.14.09 @ 04:20 PM EST [link] [No Comments] Sunday, May 18th does it work mood: meh a friend of mine was supposed to get married next week. and now shes not. he canceled or something happened i dont know any details. My best friend got pregnant by someone she considered her best friend and while her son is beautiful instead of him being there for her, she gets baby mama drama and loses a friend. my other best friend ... thats a fractured friendship right there, dont even know where to begin with that one. and there others, other examples of just relationships falling apart. even if they arent falling apart theres so much arguing or I dont know maybe its the rain. im sure its really a thousand things. the stressors ive been dealing with lately are wearing me out. eh its like they say ... this too shall pass ~_~' Adrianne on 05.18.08 @ 02:46 AM EST [link] [No Comments] remember when mood: nostalgic Remember when .... you used to play in the sandbox with the dinosaurs the excitement of the icecream mans bell was the highlight of your day? you wanted to be a fireman, an astronaut AND a superhero Saturday morning cartoons were worth getting up for staying up late meant trying to stay up til midnight ... without getting caught all your friends were best friends forever and you were all gonna live in the BIG house in the woods, or on the beach.... didnt matter so long as you were together forever trading messages meant passing notes in classs faling in love was as easy as "do you like me? check []yes or []no your first kiss was sloppy, a little drooly and perfect you couldnt wait til you turned 18? 21? 25? you thought that grownups got to have all the fun! you knew that life would get easier as you get older LOL had a lot of remember when moments the past couple of days .... found an OLD pic of me and my sisters from highschool that kinda prompted this Adrianne on 05.18.08 @ 02:09 AM EST [link] [No Comments] Friday, May 2nd fake it mood: sleepy So I finished this semester ... hopefully successfully, i am still waiting for grades but so far looks like maybe and A and a B, maybe two B's which would be fine also. My last class was this week and we watched the crazy movie called Paris is Burning. It was about the gay/trans scene in New York and the "balls" they have. These balls are essentially just a way for them all to get together and compete and what not but what the movie was about isnt really important. One of the classes I was taking is one of the core class for the humanities program I am in. Its called Humanities on Trial: Thoughts on post modernism. I'm still not sure what the point of the class was. We read people like freud and nietzsche, discussed issues like how reproducibility is destroying the arts or something like that. Well the teacher ended the class with this discussion. In the movie one of the central themes was identity. At these balls, the people would get together and perform like best straight looking man, or most real looking woman. Obviously gay men and women and especially transgender deal with issues of identity, but my teacher went on to suggest that all life is nothing but performing. That none of us are who we really are ever to anyone. She says: "We are as we act....but are performances unfold only and always in relation to others, and in shifting contexts that may alter their meanings." and "The meaning of our lives has ultimately, has little to do with any inner core or essence but with a kind of social script, a manner of acting. " I dont know but this bothers me a little. It suggests that life is fake. That how I act and react to one person is all based on lies and assumptions. And yes, I'm sure people assume things all the times and base opinions on what they think is going on rather that what may actually be going on. But then thats human nature. We always want to guess and try to figure out what people are thinking - sometimes for the worse. And sure this may affect how we act around certain people. But to say that the meaning of life has little to do with who we are and more to do with so script we have devised - it just seems fake. So I dont know. I would like to think that I try to be myself as genuinely as possible. Maybe thats good, maybe its not. I would hope that it is enough. Sure I think we act differently around different people but i think contextually that also refers to how well you know someone. You may not be entirely yourself as you are getting to know someone, but thats the process of getting to know someone ... I dont know. This is already too long and rambly and my brain is still dead. but comments, thoughts if you want Adrianne on 05.02.08 @ 12:02 AM EST [link] [No Comments] Wednesday, April 30th the bane of my exsistence - rice mood: amused I love to cook. When I was an undergrad making dinner and margarits and pretending to study was the highlight of my day. I even briefly considered chucking my diploma and going to culinary school. I come up with recipes all the time, I make the best chocolate chip cookies in the world and there has never been a recipe I could not figure out and put my own personal spin on. Except for rice When I cook rice 1 of 3 things will happen 1. the rice is burnt 2. the rice is undercooked 3. the rice is burnt AND undercooked (how this happens I will never know) Really, rice is supposed to be one of those staples that is easy to throw together and have with whatever. AND I CANT COOK IT. I dont get it. Brandy says just get a rice cooker but that is beside the point! it has like 3 steps to making it - boil water add rice wait 10 minutes voila ...for me this is always chaos and its so frustrating! Adrianne on 04.30.08 @ 03:30 PM EST [link] [No Comments] Tuesday, April 29th distractions - a song music: whatever itunes is playing mood: silly sung to the tune of the 12 days of christmas on the day before my paper was due i distracted myself with these I sat down and wrote this silly song on the day before my paper was due I distracted myself with these 6 glasses of green and white tea and writing this silly song On the day before my paper was due i distracted myself with these reading random email 6 glasses of green and white tea and writing this silly song on the day before my paper was due I distracted myself with these checking on my chocobo reading random email 6 glasses of green and white tea and writing this silly song on the day before my paper was due I distracted myself with these sending random email checking on my chocobo reading random email 6 glasses of green and white tea and writing this silly song on the day before my paper was due i distracted myself with these occasionally watching tv sending random email checking on my chocobo reading random email 6 glasses of green and white tea and writing this silly song on the day before my paper was due i distracted myself with these taking 4 goody's powder occasionally watching tv sending random email checking on my chocobo reading random email 6 glasses of green and white tea and writing this silly song on the day before my paper was due I distracted myself with these making 2 new playlists taking 4 goody's powder occasionally watching tv sending random email checking on my chocobo reading random email 6 glasses of green and white tea (man I've got to pee!) and I sat down and wrote this silly song!!!!!! Adrianne on 04.29.08 @ 02:13 AM EST [link] [No Comments] Tuesday, April 22nd oh boy... just a couple more weeks and 20 pages (and 2 possible exams) stand between me and the end of my first semester.. so far have an A in one class and NO CLUE in the other. been feeling less like writing and more artistic lately probably cause of the almost impossible to complete 15 page paper i turned in ... a week ago, the days seem to blend - work, school, papers, sleep .... Oh and the title is for HOLLY cause shes gonna be on Ace of Cakes cause she awesome like that...really she is. Its got nothing to do with those other chicks on skates that she likes to hang out with....nope. She just awesome Check out Ace of Cakes THIS thursday and see my awesome friend (and I guess some awesome skate chicks still working on a fix ... well kinda gotta work on the paper too Adrianne on 04.22.08 @ 02:03 PM EST [link] [No Comments] Saturday, April 19th bleh mood: D; So the new layout is up.. but there is still kinks. Like the text going to far. But i will have to mess with it later cause I think that would involve some recoding of stuff. hobbies are such a pain Adrianne on 04.19.08 @ 07:08 PM EST [link] [No Comments]