Name: Adrianne
birthday: June 13
aimUsakoSerenity
email:a@mld.com
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Well honestly I dont remember where
I got these images from. Flowers, I think are from a google
image search and I am trying to place the Usa's pic ~_~; I',m pretty sure its from SailorMoon Channel

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Thursday, January 13th
resumes
Not to be confused with starting something again why oh why are resumes (resumaaaaays) so hard to write. I can bullet point the hell out of research projects but when it comes to describing the actual accomplishments that I have done in my tenure at various works spaces its impossible.

I was good at my job. How do I say that effectively. I did a lot at my last job. I was known for getting things done. People came to me for projects and got them back timely. Every job Ive done Ive been lke that. I am good at what I do. Ask me to do something I will go to the finish line and then some.

But how to vocalize, or textualize that.

Resumes suck.



Adrianne on 01.13.11 @ 01:37 PM EST [link] [No Comments]


resumes
Not to be confused with starting something again why oh why are resumes (resumaaaaays) so hard to write. I can bullet point the hell out of research projects but when it comes to describing the actual accomplishments that I have done in my tenure at various works spaces its impossible.

I was good at my job. How do I say that effectively. I did a lot at my last job. I was known for getting things done. People came to me for projects and got them back timely. Every job Ive done Ive been lke that. I am good at what I do. Ask me to do something I will go to the finish line and then some.

But how to vocalize, or textualize that.

Resumes suck.



Adrianne on 01.13.11 @ 01:37 PM EST [link] [No Comments]


Sunday, December 19th
perspectives
Its amazing how perspectives can change. I used to see the lovely pictures of european towns, italian towns with the homes stacked up on each other in the varying shades of colors and think it was all so picturesque. Dont get me wrong it is still pretty. But now that I live in one of those kind of homes, it a new perspective.

Children, life changes, all these move perspective.

Adrianne on 12.19.10 @ 07:17 PM EST [link] [No Comments]


Friday, November 19th
a change
would do this space good. I wanna update it. The content space is too small. I do love the design though. I always did. I'll probably revamp it to sit on mld main and change this old blog from greymatter to wordpress. Greymatter you will always be in my heart but wordpress is just a bit surperior.

I'm trying to get myself out of this funk. I find myself short tempered and impatient and moody. Depression would be the appropriate word but I refuse to let it be so. Just gotta move past what I cant change and try to get to the point to where maybe I can change them. Or accept them, I guess which ever gives first.

Adrianne on 11.19.10 @ 07:50 PM EST [link] [No Comments]


Sunday, October 17th
why
why do i stop myself from interacting. I am not stupid. I am not dumb. I do have thoughts in my head. I want to reply. I do. But then I stop myself. I think oh maybe its inappropriate. Life will show me if I belong some place or not. I think Ive just forgotten. How to interact. Where is me? Next time just dont stop.

Adrianne on 10.17.10 @ 07:10 PM EST [link] [No Comments]


community
Ive decided that I need a community. Yes I have my sister and my best friend back in the US but I need more. I need someone to talk with who doesnt know me for years, who doesnt let their problems color helping me with mine. Dont get me wrong, I enjoy being there for my friends but I need more perspective.

I'm struggling so much with being peaceful. I want to enjoy living here. But its so easy to be overwhelmed by the magnitude of everything. Learning the language. Clearing the rooms, making the space ours. I have no idea how to get it all accomplished. And every other little thing I want to do.

I want to write, cook and create. Make a living from blogging. Make clothes for Isabella. Make her a moose doll, a fairy. Her own little pixie hollow and I feel like I have no idea how to even accomplish that and asking Nico for help just doesnt work. I want felt, oh we will check the fabric store, or maybe my dad knows. I get so frustrated by feeling so incompetent, when all I want is to get some simple craft supplies and I cant do it!

I dont know what to do. I need community, interaction. maybe im just going stir crazy since i have no one else here to talk to except Isabella. Baby babble can only stimulate for so long, though I do love talking with her.

Adrianne on 10.17.10 @ 07:16 AM EST [link] [No Comments]


Wednesday, October 14th
Changes
mood: trying to be ... focused
Changes are coming. So much has happened since that last post in May... that was over a year ago. 2008 lol. Its 2009 and Ive changed schools, gone to another country, gotten married and I'm about to have a baby. What a difference time makes. No longer at ODU, transferred to a online program so that I could go to Italy. I met Nico a couple months after that post so yes it does work, if you let yourself be open to it.

I'm moving this blog to its own domain, more appropriately named The Wandering Heart. Its not up yet, still in the preliminary design stages, mostly cause I want more than just ramblings so I have some grand plans for it. If I can get myself focused.

I touched base with an old friend today also, hoping to get involved in an exciting project that she is working on.

This will be the last post here, but the site will remain for integrity. So much I want to say and do over at TWH, so I want that to be my main focus. So I say goodbye mld/blog and hello to the start of something new and thewanderingheart.com smile

Adrianne on 10.14.09 @ 04:20 PM EST [link] [No Comments]


Sunday, May 18th
does it work
mood: meh
a friend of mine was supposed to get married next week. and now shes not. he canceled or something happened i dont know any details. My best friend got pregnant by someone she considered her best friend and while her son is beautiful instead of him being there for her, she gets baby mama drama and loses a friend. my other best friend ... thats a fractured friendship right there, dont even know where to begin with that one. and there others, other examples of just relationships falling apart. even if they arent falling apart theres so much arguing or I dont know maybe its the rain. im sure its really a thousand things. the stressors ive been dealing with lately are wearing me out. eh its like they say ... this too shall pass ~_~'

Adrianne on 05.18.08 @ 02:46 AM EST [link] [No Comments]


remember when
mood: nostalgic
Remember when ....

you used to play in the sandbox with the dinosaurs
the excitement of the icecream mans bell was the highlight of your day?
you wanted to be a fireman, an astronaut AND a superhero
Saturday morning cartoons were worth getting up for
staying up late meant trying to stay up til midnight ... without getting caught
all your friends were best friends forever and you were all gonna live in the BIG house in the woods, or on the beach.... didnt matter so long as you were together forever
trading messages meant passing notes in classs
faling in love was as easy as "do you like me? check []yes or []no
your first kiss was sloppy, a little drooly and perfect
you couldnt wait til you turned 18? 21? 25?
you thought that grownups got to have all the fun!
you knew that life would get easier as you get older


LOL had a lot of remember when moments the past couple of days .... found an OLD pic of me and my sisters from highschool that kinda prompted this smile


Adrianne on 05.18.08 @ 02:09 AM EST [link] [No Comments]


Friday, May 2nd
fake it
mood: sleepy
So I finished this semester ... hopefully successfully, i am still waiting for grades but so far looks like maybe and A and a B, maybe two B's which would be fine also. My last class was this week and we watched the crazy movie called Paris is Burning. It was about the gay/trans scene in New York and the "balls" they have. These balls are essentially just a way for them all to get together and compete and what not but what the movie was about isnt really important. One of the classes I was taking is one of the core class for the humanities program I am in. Its called Humanities on Trial: Thoughts on post modernism. I'm still not sure what the point of the class was. We read people like freud and nietzsche, discussed issues like how reproducibility is destroying the arts or something like that. Well the teacher ended the class with this discussion. In the movie one of the central themes was identity. At these balls, the people would get together and perform like best straight looking man, or most real looking woman. Obviously gay men and women and especially transgender deal with issues of identity, but my teacher went on to suggest that all life is nothing but performing. That none of us are who we really are ever to anyone. She says:

"We are as we act....but are performances unfold only and always in relation to others, and in shifting contexts that may alter their meanings."

and

"The meaning of our lives has ultimately, has little to do with any inner core or essence but with a kind of social script, a manner of acting. "

I dont know but this bothers me a little. It suggests that life is fake. That how I act and react to one person is all based on lies and assumptions. And yes, I'm sure people assume things all the times and base opinions on what they think is going on rather that what may actually be going on. But then thats human nature. We always want to guess and try to figure out what people are thinking - sometimes for the worse. And sure this may affect how we act around certain people. But to say that the meaning of life has little to do with who we are and more to do with so script we have devised - it just seems fake.

So I dont know. I would like to think that I try to be myself as genuinely as possible. Maybe thats good, maybe its not. I would hope that it is enough. Sure I think we act differently around different people but i think contextually that also refers to how well you know someone. You may not be entirely yourself as you are getting to know someone, but thats the process of getting to know someone ... I dont know. This is already too long and rambly and my brain is still dead.

but comments, thoughts if you want

Adrianne on 05.02.08 @ 12:02 AM EST [link] [No Comments]