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01/21/2008: "school woes"

mood: anxious

Its time like these I wonder if I am ave gotten myself in over my head. I am back at school and sometimes I worry about how committed I am to being here. I know I need to finish my reading, but I just havent brought myself to finish it yet. And the readings are actually interesting. There is just so much uncertainty going on at the moment I guess I am just having a hard time focusing on the task I need to accomplish. I also started a new job - one I feel like should be taken with a grain of salt. I dont know sometimes I feel like I am just settling - even on things I go after. I went and talked to people and did everything I could to get accepted into this program. Same thing with the job. Maybe its the just the wishy-washyness of some of the people I am around. Maybe its just the uncertainty of other things that are going on that just have me stressed out about things that I just have no control over. I think thats what is the hardest thing. Losing control of situation and waiting for it to spiral. And the other is probably just new job jitters. January is almost over, this new year was supposed to be about new beginnings. And surely I have started a lot of new things. Hopefully I have the strength to finish them.